How Good Are You At Saying NO?

How good are you at saying NO? Saying NO is a challenge for many leaders, especially those in ministry.  I get it. We want to help. We want to make a difference. That’s why we entered ministry.  Yet, if we say YES to everything – we become ineffective! What do we do?  Learn to say […]

The Importance of Shifting Your Perspective?

It’s amazing the difference that even the slightest change of perspective can make. In your work as a leader, I want to encourage you to regularly shift your perspective. This intentional shift in perspective will frequently provide you with important information that will be of value to you as a leader. How do you shift […]

How We See Things.

The topic of discussion during a recent training event was frameworks and perspectives.  We all have them — and they have a huge impact on the decisions we make and the directions we take.  In other words, our frameworks impact our leadership. The following quote really captured our discussion. We do not see things as […]

An Odd Request

Last week I encouraged you to listen with your eyes.  Today I am encouraging you to listen with your feet. This probably sounds like an odd request – Listen with your feet. Indulge me for a few minutes and consider that feet are about movement.  Our feet usually take us some place.  As you listen, […]

What is it like to be in a conversation with you?

In his book “Meeting Matters”, Paul Axtell asks the following question:  What is it like for others to be in a conversation with you? Ouch! What a great question! I contend that if you spend consider this question that you will gain valuable insights that will greatly improve the way you communicate. Consider some of […]

Listen with your Eyes!

The key to effective communication is recognizing that 90% of communication is non-verbal.  One of the first things we teach new coaches is to stop focusing on the actual words and start listening to the non-verbal communication. I was reminded of this a few weeks ago while training in Lima, Peru.  My Spanish is very […]

Where is Val this Week?

This past week the Methodist Church of Peru and the Teachers of the Colegio of  the Americas High School of Callao have been learning how to coach.  Spearheaded by Dr. Guilermo Yoshikawa, about 100 pastors and teachers have been in attendance. While most of the participants were in attendance at the Colegio of the Americas, […]

What does coaching have to do with discipleship?

Interested in becoming a Discipleship Coach? Jesus asked 300+ questions requiring listeners to think through their responses about following Him. How are questions part of your disciple making? @nelsonroth Coaching4Clergy, in partnership with Relevant Ministry, Inc. is excited to offer this 24 hour certificate program which will provide pastors and ministry leaders the necessary discipleship coaching […]

They are called “Community Grandmothers.”

It all begins with listening!  Every new coach in our training program hears me say this at the beginning of their training.  Throughout their training, we regularly remind them that while the other coaching competencies are important, listening is the most important one! There is growing evidence to support this claim. Consider the Friendship Bench Program, […]

The Problem with Telling People What to Do!

We finally have solid evidence about the problem with telling people what to do. A research project in 2009 reveals brain activity – actually, a lack of brain activity – when we are being told what to do. Here’s the research in a nutshell.  When someone is telling us what to do or giving us advice, […]

Get in Touch with Your Inner Tortoise!

Faster. Sooner. Quicker. It seems like this is what we want. Many of Today’s Leaders believe that success is closely tied to the speed at which things are done. As a result, many leaders pick up the pace for themselves, as well as for those they lead. Consider for a moment the value of slowing […]


Every once in a while a phrase catches my attention.  That’s what happened afew days ago.  While quickly scanning my HBR articles, I stopped mid-scan and read:  JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE IN CHARGE DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD RUN EVERY MEETING. Paul Axtel, the person that coined this phrase, is the author of the book, Meetings Matter: […]

A + I + A = ?

I have a formula that provides me a quick, easy assessment of the person I am coaching.  Frequently, during a coaching session, I will share this formula and ask that they do a quick self-assessment. Here’s the formula:  A + I + A = REAL Change   A = Awareness:  Before any intentional change can […]

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of the year.  In addition to great food and family, it also provides us the opportunity to give thanks. At Coaching4Clergy, we are so thankful for your support, your commitment, and most of all, you! HAPPY THANKSGIVING! All the best to you, _________________________________________________________________________

What one bishop said about coaching!

Over the years we have had the privilege to provide coaching and coach training to numerous denominational leaders – including several bishops.   One of our graduates, a bishop, wrote me the following note. Here’s what she wrote: I was convinced that coaching was a valued tool that should be in the toolkit of every preacher, […]

What is your Unlearning Style?

I have been noticing a recurring theme from the leaders that I coach.  It’s the need for leaders to unlearn, as well as learn.  Several that I am coaching are focusing a significant amount of their time and energy on unlearning. Here are a few examples: One leader recently realized how much “telling and advising” she […]

Your Hunger vs Your History

Earlier today I discovered a great quote.  Immediately after reading it I thought of many of the leaders that I coach. Here’s the quote: “What is possible for you is dictated by your hunger, not your history.” Brendon Burchard: American Motivational Author. Many of today’s leaders are focused on their history — past events and achievements.  This […]

Cancel Your Subscription!‏

One of the biggest distractions for today’s leaders is the belief that they need to have all of the answers.  When a challenging issue surfaces they think that they are supposed to fix things. It’s time to cancel your subscription to this belief!  Instead, become the Question Guy!  You don’t need to personally solve every problem. […]

Your WHY and WHAT.‏

One of the roles of Today’s Leaders is to remind people what matters most – and to do that in the simplest possible manner.  As the leader you must repeat this message again and again and again. A simple technique that is useful is called: The Strategy on a Hand.  [How the Best CEO’s Get the […]

Free Yourself From Your Team!‏

How are you doing at getting things done? Have you ever wondered how the very best leaders get the important work done – consistently!  James Allen claims that the very best leaders have liberated themselves from their staff and team.  He sites that even a well meaning team member can eat up your valuable time […]

What’s missing from your toolbox?‏

For most of my adult life I have owned American made cars like Ford, Dodge, GMC.  I recently purchased a European made car and for the most part have been enjoying the experience.  That is until I began doing some of the routine maintenance items. During a recent oil change I realized that I needed a […]

Welcome to our newest Faculty!‏

I am excited to announce that last week 12 Ministry Leaders from the New Mexico Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church completed our faculty-in-training process. They are now one of our official Satellite Sites. This conference has really caught hold of the “coach-approach” to ministry. While in Albuquerque they presented me with a button that they […]

What does coaching have to do with discipleship?‏

Interested in becoming a Discipleship Coach?     Jesus asked 300+ questions requiring listeners to think through their responses about following Him. How are questions part of your disciple making? @nelsonroth Coaching4Clergy, in partnership with Relevant Ministry, Inc. is excited to offer this 24 hour certificate program which will provide pastors and ministry leaders the necessary discipleship […]

Do We Really Need to Hold this Meeting?

How many times, after a meeting, have you thought to yourself : That was a great discussion, but I’m not sure we really accomplished anything?   Bob Frisch and Cary Greene raise this same question in their article entitled:  If you can’t say what your meeting will accomplish, you shouldn’t have it. Today’s leaders need to discern […]

Give Yourself 4 Seconds Today!‏

I don’t want to spoil the book for you, but Peter Bregman’s book FOURSECONDS suggests that all you need is 4 seconds.  In those four seconds you can stop counter-productive habits and behaviors and replace them with healthy productive habits. In the time that it takes to take a deep breathe in and exhale completely […]