Tapping Into the Greatness of Us

Coaching4Clergy is busy creating several new and exciting opportunities for you. One new opportunity is a group coaching experience this August called “Making Marriage Great.” This week’s guest blogger, John Gibson, will be leading this group. Check out the website for more details about this event.

Tapping Into the Greatness of Us

A wise man once said,” life is relationships; the rest is just details” and, it would follow, that the quality of our relationships would be the single biggest factor in the quality of our living. “Life to the full” is what the Master said He had for us and great relationships would be its greatest evidence and medium.

All of us yearn for relationships where we can simply and freely be who we are and let the other be completely who they are.  This is where we invite each other’s input, value different perspectives and strengths, pull each other higher, recognize each other’s brilliance, see and explore possibilities together, and stay in a place of celebration of the other and the growing relationship you share. There’s a certain greatness that we taste, and are called into, when we begin to participate in this kind of relating and this challenging life is so much lighter and fuller when we do. This is tapping into the greatness of us (what’s possible when a real synergy is experienced between people).

But what do we believe about the possibility of greatness in our day to day relationships…with our spouse, our children, friends, those we work with, those we minister to, etc.?

Though we’d all say we want more and deeper relationships, many of us in our heart of hearts really don’t believe that they will be able to participate in them and, to get unstuck, will require a new way of seeing/believing. More than learning new communication skills and action strategies, we need to work together (and probably with a coach) to explore what’s possible and support new thinking and action.

For instance, in a marriage one could have come to believe such things as, “we’re too different to be of one heart”, “we’re too busy to spend a lot of alone time with each other”, “he/she is the problem”, “we can’t have a real discussion without coming into conflict”, “our marriage is what it is, it won’t change”, “I don’t deserve…” etc. Sadly, with those thoughts and beliefs, or others like them, one is tapping into distortions that are not absolutely true and inhibit us from believing in the possibility of greatness that we could have in our marriage relationship.

Some questions to be in a place of curiousity around this topic might be:

  • Who would you/we be, or how would things be, if you/we couldn’t have any beliefs like the ones above?
  • In that new place of being, what are thoughts and beliefs that would support you in developing the quality of relationships you were designed to have?
  • What kinds of relationships would you really, really like to have? What kind of relationships would others really like to have with you?
  • Some actions that you could envision taking with these new thoughts and beliefs regarding your relationship(s) would be_________________________________________________   ?

“All things are possible to them that believe…” Jesus

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J. Val Hastings

J. Val Hastings, MCC, is the Founder and President of Coaching4Clergy, which provides specialized training for pastors, church leaders and coaches. Val is the author of the book The Next Great Awakening: How to Empower God’s People with a Coach Approach to Ministry and the e-book The E3-Church: Empowered, Effective and Entrepreneurial Leadership That Will Keep Your Church Alive. Val currently holds the designation of Master Certified Coach through the International Coach Federation, the highest coaching designation.

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