Val’s Favorite Coaching Questions, Part One

As a coach and a collector of questions, I know firsthand the tremendous value of great questions. Part of my daily routine is to share a question of the day with my Twitter followers. Clients are sometimes curious about MY favorite questions. While I have a continually growing list, there are definitely a few that I keep coming back to, and they never disappointment me.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be writing about my top four questions and how they help me and my clients. You may be surprised – I know I was! At first I thought I had to come up with something really creative and profound, but then I realized that these simple questions are truly powerful.

Are you ready?

The first question is:

What do I really, REALLY want?

It’s the second “REALLY” in capital letters that makes this question so powerful for me. My plate, like most pastors – most people for that matter, is always full. And there are a lot of things I want to do.

This question narrows things for me and helps me begin to think strategically. It forces me to evaluate all that I’m doing or all that I want. The bottom line is that I not only get things done, but I get done what’s most important to me – what I really, really want.

This question has become so internalized for me that I ask it at the beginning of each day or each week as I’m thinking ahead to what’s coming up.

Years ago, a coach told me that the best thing he ever did was toss his “to do” list. After I’ve asked this question, I’m able to whittle down my list to the two or three most important things, and toss the rest. I love it!

A few weeks ago, I was staring down a very long “to do” list on my computer. All of a sudden, the cat or something bumped into the computer and the list was GONE. Just like that. It was really freeing to realize that I didn’t need a list to remember what was most important. I just needed to keep asking myself this question:

What do I really, REALLY want?

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J. Val Hastings

J. Val Hastings, MCC, is the Founder and President of Coaching4Clergy, which provides specialized training for pastors, church leaders and coaches. Val is the author of the book The Next Great Awakening: How to Empower God’s People with a Coach Approach to Ministry and the e-book The E3-Church: Empowered, Effective and Entrepreneurial Leadership That Will Keep Your Church Alive. Val currently holds the designation of Master Certified Coach through the International Coach Federation, the highest coaching designation.

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