Val’s Favorite Coaching Questions, Part Three

Have you ever wondered if I ever coach myself? I absolutely do! And it starts my favorite coaching questions. This month I’ve been revealing my top four questions, beginning with:

1) What do I really, REALLY want?

2) What are my beliefs and assumptions about what I really, REALLY want?

The next question in this series is:

Who can help me with what I really, REALLY want?

I probably hold on to things or projects longer than I should (I’m sure a few of you can relate). Thankfully I’m really learning to delegate sooner and include others quicker. I don’t have to be a Lone Ranger – in fact, the team approach will probably get us there sooner, faster, quicker.

Without asking this question, I can cocoon in my own little world and push, move, act in circles, uphill all the way – getting there eventually. It’s just a whole lot more fun to take a team approach, and then I get to play from my strengths.

The simple fact is that there are certain things that I’m not good at, and other people are better at them. This question reminds me to ask, “Val, why are you doing all of this?”

Once I’m willing to give up my Lone Ranger status and even ask this question, the real job begins – and that’s choosing the right WHO. So I may ask some sub-questions:

  • Who’s doing this task already?
  • Who’s doing this task well?

Enlisting the wrong who-body can really derail things and get in the way. And I really think that’s why this third question is so important. Too often we get the wrong people doing the wrong things, we don’t get what we want, and then we lose faith in the team approach. We go back to trying to do everything ourselves and the cycle of not asking for help continues.

When you first took on your current position in your church, you likely “inherited” a group of volunteers or staff. Yet have you ever stopped to consider whether they’re each serving in the position they’re best suited for?

Asking this question can have a really magical ripple effect in getting everybody doing what they really, REALLY want to do .

If people are unable or unwilling to switch, there’s nothing stopping you from creating your own team – maybe even an imaginary team of people you’d like to have on hand as your virtual board of advisors .

Open your mind to ALL the possibilities when you ask:

Who can help me with what I really, REALLY want?

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J. Val Hastings

J. Val Hastings, MCC, is the Founder and President of Coaching4Clergy, which provides specialized training for pastors, church leaders and coaches. Val is the author of the book The Next Great Awakening: How to Empower God’s People with a Coach Approach to Ministry and the e-book The E3-Church: Empowered, Effective and Entrepreneurial Leadership That Will Keep Your Church Alive. Val currently holds the designation of Master Certified Coach through the International Coach Federation, the highest coaching designation.

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