Today’s guest post is from Ken Hoke, one of our Coaching4Clergy trainers. Ken has held several ministry and denominational positions, plus he has his own coaching/consulting business. Ken really gets the valuable role that coaching can play in the effectiveness of today’s pastors. In addition to being a great coach and trainer on our team, Ken is an advocate of coach training for every pastor.
Continuing our theme of building a culture of appreciation, Ken offers some solid advice to newer coaches about how to show our clients appreciation – by giving them our full attention.
Wishing for a Redo
By Ken Hoke
Have you ever wished for a redo after your first conversation with someone? Perhaps your mind was on something else. Perhaps you were in a funny mood and just not ready to meet a new person. Perhaps you just wish you could have come across differently – whatever the reason, we all may sometimes wish we could just “start over.”
Working with clients on the phone has its own set of distractions for a relationship. We may think we can multi-task and it won’t be noticed by the person on the other end of the line, or we may lose concentration for just a moment and then find it hard to get back in step. Again we may wish for a redo.
These issues speak to the ongoing development of our relationship with the person we are coaching. Just as we may be able to hear the concern in their voice, so they too may hear the distraction in ours. It is a two-way street of communication we are traveling as coaches.
Here are several helpful ideas to consider in each call:
- Focus your attention before the call by reviewing your notes related to this client
- Fight the temptation to multi-task – give the client your full attention
- Guard your mood – your attitude will come through in your voice, tone and energy
- Practice Jesus’s call to love one another: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” (1 John 4:18a NIV-2010)
- If you blow it, let your client know what happened and keep working at the relationship.
Kenneth O. Hoke, D.Min.
KOH Coaching and Consulting, Carlisle, PA
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