Are you addicted to A-ha?

Have you ever been talking with someone and a brilliant insight or question comes to mind?  Then, before you have the opportunity to share your brilliance, the conversation has moved on. You’ve missed the opportunity.

This happens quite often to me during coaching conversations.  As a new coach, I tried several approaches from back-peddling the conversation and sharing my insight anyway to mentally chastising myself for not being quicker to speak.

Neither of these approaches worked for me.  How about you?

So what helps me let go of a brilliant insight or question?  Consider the following:

• Whoever has the Insight owns the Insight. There are times when, as the coach, sharing a brilliant insight will empower those you coach.  But, those moments are rare.  Really great, life-changing experiences typically happen to those that have the insight!  My role is to help the other have the insight or A-ha.
• Watch for the A-ha Addiction. I will be the first to admit this, but hearing another person tell you how great your question or insight was, feels good – really good!  Early on as a coach, I used to think that an A-ha had to happen in every coaching session.  If the A-ha didn’t happen, I thought I had done a poor job coaching. Nothing could be further from the truth. Read on…..
• The real coaching happens after the coaching. This was a helpful concept to grasp.  The 30-45 minute coaching conversation is best viewed as a catalyst for more to come.  As people mull and churnover the coaching conversation, even greater insights surface.  And seismic shifts begin to happen.
• Bookmark the insight and notice patterns or themes that are emerging.  There will probably be a moment in future coaching sessions when you can artfully interrupt and share what you have been noticing.