One of my favorite things to do at Coaching4Clergy is to teach the very first class in our program. You might be surprised that my preference isn’t our advanced level classes. While I enjoy teaching our soon-to-be PCC and MCC coaches, I really enjoy teaching the very first class our students take.
I remember my very first coaching class. I was mesmerized by coaching. I couldn’t read enough or coach enough. I was like a sponge soaking it all up. I wanted to learn it all.
Our new coaches frequently ask, “Val, what were your biggest challenges when you were just starting to coach?” Hands down, my number one challenge was: Trying to Fix People!
I frequently like to introduce myself by saying: “Hello, my name is Val and I am a recovering fixer!”
It wasn’t until I started coaching that I realized just how much of a fixer I was. Even my sermons were fix-it sermons – 3 point fix-it sermons.
Students ask: What helped you stop fixing?
What was most helpful was comparing the results of fixing versus coaching. Time and time again, the results were crystal clear. Fixing didn’t work!
The problem wasn’t what I was telling them; the problem was that I was telling! Most people do not want to be told what to do.
I observed that when people discovered their own answers, the results are remarkable.
I didn’t stop fixing overnight. And yes, I still catch myself trying to fix people. That’s why I’m a recovering fixer.
If you are a fixer, I have good news for you — It’s not too late to join Fixers-Anonymous.
Next week: Challenge number 2.