{"id":17856,"date":"2022-11-16T06:00:24","date_gmt":"2022-11-16T11:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/?p=17856"},"modified":"2022-11-13T09:04:23","modified_gmt":"2022-11-13T14:04:23","slug":"if-you-have-a-pulse-i-can-coach-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/if-you-have-a-pulse-i-can-coach-you\/","title":{"rendered":"If You Have a Pulse, I Can Coach You"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

I saved this topic for last in our coaching habits series<\/a>. I\u2019ve noticed\u2014and you probably have, too\u2014that when people first learn to coach, we start coaching everyone, whether they want coaching or not.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s understandable. You\u2019re learning these new skills; you\u2019re intrigued by them. You want to practice, and you\u2019re genuinely excited about coaching\u2019s potential. And it’s okay to have that initial enthusiasm, but after a while, we need to just settle back and realize that not every person or every situation needs to be coached.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re coaching me again, aren\u2019t you?\u201d is something coaches may hear from family and friends, which is a nice way of saying, \u201cStop coaching me!<\/a>\u201d<\/p>\n

Sure, you can step into coach mode during a group meeting if the need arises, or if someone specifically asks for coaching, but not everyone in every situation needs to be coached. Nor am I the right coach for everyone in every situation. And that raises another important point:<\/p>\n

Just because I can<\/em> coach you, doesn’t mean I’m the best<\/em> coach for you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Finding the right coach<\/a> is a process. When you consider all the steps and considerations involved, it makes sense that you can\u2019t jump in and be someone\u2019s coach at a moment\u2019s notice. It\u2019s not good for the coach, and it\u2019s certainly not good for the client, who is missing out on the true power of coaching that happens when a coach and client have contracted to work together.<\/p>\n

The communication skills you\u2019ve developed as a coach can be hugely helpful in all areas of your life. For example, even though I try my best not to coach immediate family members, I often still draw on my coaching skills, maybe with, \u201cSay more about that?\u201d Or by asking, \u201cHow can I be most helpful here?\u201d But know where you\u2019re drawing the line between that and being someone\u2019s coach.<\/p>\n

The temptation is there, and not just from the coach\u2019s side of the conversation. I\u2019m sure we\u2019ve all experienced requests for someone to \u201cpick your brain,\u201d or for you to put your coaching hat on \u201cfor a second.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve even had this happen in a doctor\u2019s office\u2014when I was the patient! I had to be really clear with my boundaries and remember that I was there for me<\/em>. I had to not only step out of the coaching role, but completely out of the giver role, and be a receiver. This is also not always easy for us in helping professions.<\/p>\n

This came up in my book about internal coaching<\/a>. One of the challenges of being an internal coach is that you’re on<\/em> all the time. That is your role, and that is how people at the organization see you, whether you are in a meeting or standing at the water cooler.<\/p>\n

Whatever your primary role in life\u2014whether that\u2019s as a leader, coach, family caregiver, volunteer, or another\u2014you\u2019ve got to be able to switch it off sometimes and engage with the world as just YOU.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your coaching skills can be hugely helpful in all areas of your life. But know where you\u2019re drawing the line between that and being someone\u2019s coach.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":17857,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pgc_meta":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[238,233],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2024-05-11 07:08:34","action":"Draft","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17856"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17856"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17856\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17858,"href":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17856\/revisions\/17858"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17857"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17856"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17856"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coaching4clergy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17856"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}